Even the most dedicated, conscious couples run into challenges sometime during the course of their marriage. They’re not just simple problems, they can be very straining, causing them to wonder if they will make it. Some couples have problems before they start, and others encounter them after they are married.
I know a man who sailed alone around the world. He said on perfectly beautiful days, where everything was running smoothly, he could cause more problems within himself that would make him miserable, with nobody else around. When you’re married, the intensity of the problems increase four fold.
It’s one part of human nature to get tangled up, snarky and miserable, but it’s not a place any of us wants to go. We never gain or give anything good from it. The other part of human nature is to nurture, to care, to resolve toward happiness as quickly as possible. That’s what we all want. It’s what we were born for and that’s what a marriage is all about.
Sometimes though, the force of negative emotions get the best of us, and we get carried down a drain hole into a lot of trouble. Finding our way back up to the sunlight is a lot of work, if we ever get there, so if we can avoid that fall altogether, we will save ourselves a lot of grief. Not only that, having the skills and attitudes that take us another route entirely, will ensure us a life of emotional fulfillment, life-long friendship, and enduring love.
Pre-marital counseling can take the form of working with a Marriage and Family Therapist, where you work deeply on existing issues and ferret out any potential ones. This is a thorough process, one that is a substantial investment in your relationship, and with the right therapist, is invaluable.
It can also take the form of weekend workshops, retreats, or working with a priest, pastor or minister of your faith. I offer 6 weeks of sessions designed to highlight potential pitfalls, to help you resolve existing issues, teach you helpful skills, and give you plentiful reading resources. We cover the seven principles for making marriage work, based on the scientific work of John M. Gottman, Ph.D, delve into attitude reconstruction based on the work of Jude Bijou, Ph.D, and explore solid spiritual and positive approaches to problem solving and living life.
Whatever appeals to you, I enthusiastically support you to take on some form of counseling. You’re entering one of the most magnificent and sometimes challenging realms in existence. Those who are not prepared, fall to the wayside. Those who are, survive and thrive..